Ask God: What’s Mrs. God’s name?


There is no Mrs. God. Women are icky.

That’s why I don’t even touch them when I need to fuck them…

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Ask God: If Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson are Women. What am I?


You are Kristen Stewart…

…and no, I cannot help your career.

Get a boob job or some talent. That’s how it works.

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Joyce Meyer Promotes the Thug Life in her New Book

Ask God: Do you hate amputees?


Good question my child,

As you probably know, my existence is based entirely on faith. And I often get credit for healing people who were probably going to be fine anyway.

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Let’s keep it classy Joyce…God is watching…

Ask God: Can you roll a 7 on 6 sided die?


Nigga please,

I once impregnated a bitch without touching her.


Ask God: Where’s my sock?

sock holy libel

My son,

It appears that your mother found it. She’s not happy about it: Read your mother’s prayer

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Ask God: I found a cummy sock under my son’s bed, what should I do?

My Child,

I don't know why you think I have experience with this...

Ask God: What does your finger smell like?

god and adam
Thank you my child, for your smartass fucking question.

If you must know, then you can go ahead and ask Moses...

Ask God: My sister is dating someone who doesn’t believe in god. What will happen to them?

holy libel ring


First of all, capitalize my name.

God”…punk bitch, do you realize who you’re talking to?

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